i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
