ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
