dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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