Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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