i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
