See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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