buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
