how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
