at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
