I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize