I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
