In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This is not my ceiling
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
