anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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