In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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