I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
