Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
