Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
