Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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