Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
