Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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