I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
