JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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