Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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