god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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