Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
