from now on my penis is your penis
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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