I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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