he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
