Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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