I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize