I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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