At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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