I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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