If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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