My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
