I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
