Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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