he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
