Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
