we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
