she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
