so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
