So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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