I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize