i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
