I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
