the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
