On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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