I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
