It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
