I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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