the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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