So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
