According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
