I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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