I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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