so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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