your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You left your phone here
Wait...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
