My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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